My time after college has been a really weird period for me. I mean it already was considering that because of the pandemic and a bunch of other factors I didn’t graduate until I was 25. It’s been a month since then, and while my family has been very supportive telling me that this is going to require adjustment and figuring out what works best for me, I just still have this fear that I’m not doing enough. I was fine taking the first week off after my graduation to relax and unwind but after that I just feel like I’ve had some struggles working. I try not to beat myself up but I hope things will get better.
Maybe it’s just because I’m still a little exhausted after school or maybe its just my nerves, but sometimes I just feel like I’m scared to learn and that my brain just can’t retain new information. It’s definitely getting better and while I am improving that fear is still definitely with me. I have a lot of notes from my classes on things to do for looking at jobs and building a portfolio (which is what I think my biggest goal towards a career is at the moment, even if not all of my work is directly towards that goal) or at the very least a bit of an online following but either out of fear or a lack of energy. I just have trouble referring to them.
I am getting better about it though, even if not for business purposes I have practiced, looked at videos online and gone back to reference sheets for my art that initially I was hesitant to even though I knew they’d help. It’s like my enthusiasm outweighs my energy and confidence, but I’m still optimistic. I have support, I am improving, and I’ve always done what I’ve set my mind to regardless of the obstacles in my way, it’s just gonna take time and practice like everything does.
So what art have I done?
I’m making more art with the original characters I created for my BFA exhibition. Before the exhibition I focused primarily on oil painting rather than digital art, and while I still enjoy oil painting I definitely feel like the direction I want to go in artistically would be better suited for digital art. But that doesn’t mean I can’t incorporate elements of traditional art into my works. Wanted to create a small, fun, but still challenging project for myself I decided it would be fun to recreate a painting with one of my characters. I always loved fauvist artworks, particularly Matisse for the bright colors and painterly qualities.
While my love for color still persists I’ve definitely gravitated to more cleaner lines in my works. An interesting challenge will be to incorporate these painterly elements into digital works in a way that is still undeniably my style. I’m hoping to find a happy medium between the clean lines and painterly elements. I’m also going to be planning on making some artworks for pride month but I haven’t yet started on those, but I plan to soon and I will hold myself to that. Overall I’m slowly taking steps towards establishing a routine and regularly putting out work, and while there have been hurdles I’m overall optimistic.
I mean look, I actually posted the next Thursday like I promised, so that’s a start!